Kid Rock - Rock N Roll Jesus

Kid Rock's problem on Rock N Roll Jesus is two-fold: his music is so cluttered with comforting clichés, it plays like music for a theme restaurant, and his words fall flat. Of the two problems, the music isn't as serious: splashy and silly though it may be, at least it gets the basic sound right, even if it's way too polished and precise. Kid chases after shopworn riffs without ever reworking them or infusing them with enough spirit to make them his own; they just lie there, crushed beneath the weight of classic rock history. Nor does he goose his conventional chords with his signature ribald humor, which perhaps is the most shocking and notable thing about Rock N Roll Jesus: he's lost all of his verbal facility, to the point where he can no longer tell a dirty joke. It's as if by leaving rap behind, he's also discarded any claims at being clever. The man who once saluted all his heroes in the methadone clinics now just lazily spits out profanities and rhymes "things" with "things," telling lowlife tales so generic they feel invented. It's not that his topics are tired -- easy sex is as timeless a topic for rock & roll as true love -- but he's no longer inhabiting a role, he's acting it, which makes his tawdry tales not only cheap, but disposable. There's one exception to this rule and that's his nasty, clumsy David Allan Coe-styled kiss-off to ex-wife Pamela Anderson, "Half Your Age," the one song that is truly steeped in the dirty grit of real life. It may ring true, but it's so mean-spirited, it strips him of any residual roguish charm -- and when a rogue loses his charm, he just comes across as a prick, as Kid Rock does on Rock N Roll Jesus.

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